In this video I reveal 3 things that most people are NOT doing when they want their ex back.. the steps to winning your ex back is actually fairly basic (revealed in this video and part 2 of this video). These are things most people don’t know about OR don’t know how to do correctly! It’s all here so pay attention!
To Watch Part 2 of This Video Click Here
(Take Quiz First To Get a Personal Evaluation Of Your Situation)
1st Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back
Going through any break up will be difficult so I want to make it as easy for you as possible.
First of all, you need to know that what you may have done so far to get your ex back is simply NOT effective.
This is because you’re likely to be driven by EMOTIONAL wants and desires.
When you’re emotional, you tend to exhibit a weakness that is simply not attractive to an ex partner.
Therefore if you’re a man and you’ve reverted to beta-like characteristic, this may be keeping your woman away from you.
And if you’re a woman, begging and pleading your man to come back will not be exactly attractive and appealing either.
2nd Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back
Remove your ex partner’s resistance from you and the break up first, before attempting to try any sneaky attraction tactics to get him or her back.
Removing their resistance is about using No Contact or Limited Contact CORRECTLY! A lot of people struggle with this because they don’t understand how to do it effectively!
The question I get asked the most are:
“If I don’t contact my ex, how will they know I still care?”
“I feel No Contact would be hopeless as it seems they don’t care about me anymore. What if it doesn’t work?”
“How do I contact my ex after a break up? How can I get my ex to talk to me again?”
“I feel I’ve made too many mistakes already. Is it too late?”
“How do I know I still have a chance with my ex?”
“What if my ex is seeing someone else?”
I want to help you with all of these questions, through my blog (please have a look around and learn all you can) and through my free newsletter here. I also highly recommend you check out my complete guide to winning your ex back, The Ex Recovery System.
3rd Thing You Need to Know to Get Your Ex Back
Re-attracting your ex partner is not exactly the same as attracting someone new. If you want to get your ex’s interest, you need to show him or her that you have being making some progress and have CHANGED since the break up.
This can be ANY change, as long as it’s not something you usually do. This will get an ex’s interest. Eg. if you’re usually a stay-at-home person, now is the time to go out and get active and social. And if you’re usually a social person, who parties a lot, instead of going out every weekend, why not take up a new hobby and devote some energy into that for a change.
Re-attraction is a huge topic on its own, here’s some places for you to get started!
Women – Click Here on How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back.
Men – Click Here on How to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back
Once again, if you haven’t taken a look yet, please check out my video and part 2 of my video here:
To Watch Part 2 of This Video Click Here
(Take Quiz First To Get a Personal Evaluation Of Your Situation)
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
First Steps to Getting Your Ex Back
by Ashley Kay
Getting your ex back doesn’t need to be complicated, but people do tend to make a few wrong moves because they’re reacting upon emotions rather than using logic and sense. Here are some quick and easy steps for you to follow that will point you in the right direction:
Step 1:
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they can simply talk their ex into coming back. This usually ends with you becoming emotional as your ex remains cold and distant. You do not want your ex to see you in this state. They will pull themselves further away because not only do they know you are doing it only to benefit yourself, you’re causing a scene and making them feel uncomfortable at the same time.
Instead act against your feelings and allow them the space they need. Be calm and co-operative.
Step 2:
During a period of no contact, you need to get yourself active and moving. The more you stay in one place obsessing about the relationship, the more likely you will want to contact your ex. You need to get out and about. Start exercising, do things that make you feel good, hang out with friends etc. Think about it like: you don’t have control over what your ex wants to do, but you do have control over your own experiences. So decide whether you want to stay home and be sad all day or go out and enjoy the time you have instead. Either way the outcome will be the same.
Step 3:
Gradually get back into contact with your ex. Let them know you still care about them and you’re thankful for the great memories you have shared. Tell them you would like to catch up sometime as friends. Appear upbeat and happy. Although you might be wondering how this will bring them back. Just think about how the relationship started in the first place. They didn’t fall in love with you because you begged them to go on a date with you. You need to let them slowly open up to you again.
Step 4:
When things are slowly going well, you can try asking them out on a date. Nothing serious though. If the thought of a ‘date’ scares them, simply don’t call it a date; rather just two people hanging out. This way they can rationalize it to themselves that it is not a date.
Want a complete proven system to getting your ex back? Join the hundreds and thousands of happy customers today!
Getting your ex back doesn’t need to be complicated, but people do tend to make a few wrong moves because they’re reacting upon emotions rather than using logic and sense. Here are some quick and easy steps for you to follow that will point you in the right direction:
Step 1:
One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking they can simply talk their ex into coming back. This usually ends with you becoming emotional as your ex remains cold and distant. You do not want your ex to see you in this state. They will pull themselves further away because not only do they know you are doing it only to benefit yourself, you’re causing a scene and making them feel uncomfortable at the same time.
Instead act against your feelings and allow them the space they need. Be calm and co-operative.
Step 2:
During a period of no contact, you need to get yourself active and moving. The more you stay in one place obsessing about the relationship, the more likely you will want to contact your ex. You need to get out and about. Start exercising, do things that make you feel good, hang out with friends etc. Think about it like: you don’t have control over what your ex wants to do, but you do have control over your own experiences. So decide whether you want to stay home and be sad all day or go out and enjoy the time you have instead. Either way the outcome will be the same.
Step 3:
Gradually get back into contact with your ex. Let them know you still care about them and you’re thankful for the great memories you have shared. Tell them you would like to catch up sometime as friends. Appear upbeat and happy. Although you might be wondering how this will bring them back. Just think about how the relationship started in the first place. They didn’t fall in love with you because you begged them to go on a date with you. You need to let them slowly open up to you again.
Step 4:
When things are slowly going well, you can try asking them out on a date. Nothing serious though. If the thought of a ‘date’ scares them, simply don’t call it a date; rather just two people hanging out. This way they can rationalize it to themselves that it is not a date.
Want a complete proven system to getting your ex back? Join the hundreds and thousands of happy customers today!
Online dating for women is unfair.
Online dating for women is unfair. Statistics show that 90% of the women participating in online dating sites are all emailing the same 10% of the men on those sites. As you can see, the competition is fierce for women in the world of online dating and that’s all the reason that you need to learn the best practices of online dating.
What It Means: Click Here!
Many women dive into online dating out of desperation to find “Mr. Right.” This “dive” is usually taken without any preparation or knowledge regarding the online dating scene. There are particular things that a woman must do to be competitive on online dating sites. In other words, if you don’t prepare yourself in way that will beat the “competition” – you may never get an email or response from all the “Mr. Right”s you find online!
Bottom Line: Take the time to learn the “do’s and don’ts” of online dating before you hit the scene to prevent it from becoming a discouraging waste of time.
For more please click here
For other please visit to
What It Means: Click Here!
Many women dive into online dating out of desperation to find “Mr. Right.” This “dive” is usually taken without any preparation or knowledge regarding the online dating scene. There are particular things that a woman must do to be competitive on online dating sites. In other words, if you don’t prepare yourself in way that will beat the “competition” – you may never get an email or response from all the “Mr. Right”s you find online!
Bottom Line: Take the time to learn the “do’s and don’ts” of online dating before you hit the scene to prevent it from becoming a discouraging waste of time.
For more please click here
For other please visit to
Monday, May 28, 2012
How To Ruin a First Date
It’s amazing how often I see women make mistakes that can kill a date before it even gets started. You are out to have a good time and you want to be yourself, but there is some information you just want to save for later on.
I have been on hundreds of first dates and there are a few things that a woman can do to kill my attraction for her instantly. It’s true that men are visual, but having nice looks just gets you a first date, if you do something weird you can ensure that there is never a second date.
How Many Exes?
One of the biggest mistakes women do on a first date is talk about an ex. I have seen the entire spectrum of women who do this and it’s NEVER a good idea. I have been on dates where women talk about how their last boyfriend was abusive and now he’s in jail, how they have had sex with over 100 men and the last one was just a few hours ago, how they are still in love with their ex, how a certain ex was the best lover ever, how her last boyfriend was the one but just didn’t realize he should marry her. I could go on and on. I have seen it dozens of times and every time I without exception I think about how inappropriate it is.
Even if I tell a woman that it’s not ok to talk about her exes, usually she won’t stop. Because she has made it a part of her character.
I can usually tell a lot about someone based on the stories they tell in conversation. Younger women often only have stories about their parents or siblings. A little later in life, women have stories about their friends. Before long, some only have stories about their exes.
If a woman only has stories about her exes this tells me several things about her. She is perpetually in relationships and that is a big red flag for me. I want to be with a woman who is complete on her own, as Travis teaches about in GirlGetsRing. I also know that a girl ditches her friends as soon as she’s in a relationship, otherwise she would be telling stories about them.
When I hear about a woman’s exes I start to compare myself to them and I don’t like that. I only talk about my exes in my books and blog posts, I never talk about them on dates. I don’t want to make a woman I’m with uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do it to a man. You might be thinking right now that there is an exception to the rule, but there really isn’t. Talking about your exes is always awful on a first date.
Do You Want to Get Married?
I talk extensively in GirlGetsRing about my one blind date. My dad set me up with a girl who was just awful. One of the many mistakes she made was asking questions that let me know she was clearly husband shopping.
Let me be clear: I want you to marry me because you think I’m amazing, not because you want to be married!
Husband auditions remove every single piece of specialness from a relationship. Why would you ever want to do that? It’s ok to screen a man and see if he’s good husband material, but don’t be OBVIOUS about it.
Do not ask a man if he wants to get married, if he wants to have children, where he sees himself in five years, etc.
All these questions are big red flags. I’ve actually recently decided that I’m finally old enough to consider settling down — but these questions still freak me out.
The Interview
I’m a savvy conversationalist. I have written several books on dating and communication, given numerous lectures and personally trained hundreds of men on ways to improve their conversational and dating skills…and yet I still go on boring dates.
Some women will do whatever it takes to be on a boring date.
Here is a secret about women: you will ask boring questions and then get upset with a man for giving boring answers. This is a huge problem in online dating that I discuss in The Perfect Profile – women make boring profiles and then can’t figure out why they are getting boring emails.
On a date you don’t want to ask questions. Normal conversation is a flow of statements. When you are talking to your friends, it is almost always a group of people taking turns telling stories. The only time we get asked questions is at job interviews and on bad dates.
I know that sometimes you are both nervous and can’t make the conversation flow. So it is ok to ask questions – they just have to be open ended. Don’t ask him where he works. How much money he makes. Does he have any brothers and sisters. What’s his favorite color. How was the commute to work.
You want to ask interesting questions:
What’s your best friend like?
Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Why?
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
What makes you happy?
I know these are deeper questions, but there is nothing worse than being boring. It’s the ultimate curse on a woman and it’s just as bad as being called desperate.
If you can avoid these three mistakes your dates will start going a lot better. And that will make life so much easier.
For more information please click here
I have been on hundreds of first dates and there are a few things that a woman can do to kill my attraction for her instantly. It’s true that men are visual, but having nice looks just gets you a first date, if you do something weird you can ensure that there is never a second date.
How Many Exes?
One of the biggest mistakes women do on a first date is talk about an ex. I have seen the entire spectrum of women who do this and it’s NEVER a good idea. I have been on dates where women talk about how their last boyfriend was abusive and now he’s in jail, how they have had sex with over 100 men and the last one was just a few hours ago, how they are still in love with their ex, how a certain ex was the best lover ever, how her last boyfriend was the one but just didn’t realize he should marry her. I could go on and on. I have seen it dozens of times and every time I without exception I think about how inappropriate it is.
Even if I tell a woman that it’s not ok to talk about her exes, usually she won’t stop. Because she has made it a part of her character.
I can usually tell a lot about someone based on the stories they tell in conversation. Younger women often only have stories about their parents or siblings. A little later in life, women have stories about their friends. Before long, some only have stories about their exes.
If a woman only has stories about her exes this tells me several things about her. She is perpetually in relationships and that is a big red flag for me. I want to be with a woman who is complete on her own, as Travis teaches about in GirlGetsRing. I also know that a girl ditches her friends as soon as she’s in a relationship, otherwise she would be telling stories about them.
When I hear about a woman’s exes I start to compare myself to them and I don’t like that. I only talk about my exes in my books and blog posts, I never talk about them on dates. I don’t want to make a woman I’m with uncomfortable and you shouldn’t do it to a man. You might be thinking right now that there is an exception to the rule, but there really isn’t. Talking about your exes is always awful on a first date.
Do You Want to Get Married?
I talk extensively in GirlGetsRing about my one blind date. My dad set me up with a girl who was just awful. One of the many mistakes she made was asking questions that let me know she was clearly husband shopping.
Let me be clear: I want you to marry me because you think I’m amazing, not because you want to be married!
Husband auditions remove every single piece of specialness from a relationship. Why would you ever want to do that? It’s ok to screen a man and see if he’s good husband material, but don’t be OBVIOUS about it.
Do not ask a man if he wants to get married, if he wants to have children, where he sees himself in five years, etc.
All these questions are big red flags. I’ve actually recently decided that I’m finally old enough to consider settling down — but these questions still freak me out.
The Interview
I’m a savvy conversationalist. I have written several books on dating and communication, given numerous lectures and personally trained hundreds of men on ways to improve their conversational and dating skills…and yet I still go on boring dates.
Some women will do whatever it takes to be on a boring date.
Here is a secret about women: you will ask boring questions and then get upset with a man for giving boring answers. This is a huge problem in online dating that I discuss in The Perfect Profile – women make boring profiles and then can’t figure out why they are getting boring emails.
On a date you don’t want to ask questions. Normal conversation is a flow of statements. When you are talking to your friends, it is almost always a group of people taking turns telling stories. The only time we get asked questions is at job interviews and on bad dates.
I know that sometimes you are both nervous and can’t make the conversation flow. So it is ok to ask questions – they just have to be open ended. Don’t ask him where he works. How much money he makes. Does he have any brothers and sisters. What’s his favorite color. How was the commute to work.
You want to ask interesting questions:
What’s your best friend like?
Would you rather be able to fly or breathe underwater? Why?
If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
What makes you happy?
I know these are deeper questions, but there is nothing worse than being boring. It’s the ultimate curse on a woman and it’s just as bad as being called desperate.
If you can avoid these three mistakes your dates will start going a lot better. And that will make life so much easier.
For more information please click here
Why First Kisses Go Bad
If you have ever been on a first date, you have probably had an awful kiss moment. This is one of the most important things I have to teach men about because it’s mostly our fault. But the truth is that women never really help us.
If a man takes you on a date there is a 90% chance he wants to kiss you. He is only waiting and really just paying his taxes until you give him the sign that he has: spent enough money, told enough good stories, spent enough time with you.
What you need to know is that men cannot read your signals.
I know that it’s hard to believe but all of those subtle little signals you are sending out are only understandable to other women. I have stood next to a student while a woman kept leaning in closer and closer to his mouth and he didn’t realize what was happening. She would close her eyes, tilt her head and lean in toward his mouth. He wouldn’t react and she would rock back out. I had to sneak up behind him and tell him that I would punch him in the kidney if he didn’t kiss her.
That might seem extreme but it was the only way that woman was ever going to get kissed.
The worst thing that can happen on a first date is the awkward front door moment. I spend so much time teaching my male students how to avoid it, but it always amazes me how many women will actively create this socially awkward moment.
The earlier you kiss on a date the better.
Please have the courtesy to remove the elephant in the room.
He is only pretending to listen to your story about your sister’s new job. All he’s thinking about is that moment. Is she going to kiss me? Is she not going to kiss me? Am I wasting my time?
If you ever wonder why men don’t remember anything you say on a first date, that’s why. It’s a constant track running through the backs of their minds.
Is there a solution?
Of course there is! I wouldn’t leave you hanging. I am going to teach you a kissing technique that has been passed down from male dating coach to male dating coach for generations. This is the first kissing move I ever tried, and it worked great.
Just say to him, “Do you want to kiss me?”
Now I know that sounds scary, but don’t worry. There is an escape hatch. Besides, don’t you want to know early on if you are with a guy who’s not interested?
There are only three possible answers: yes, no and maybe.
YES – “Then what are you waiting for?” and kiss.
NO – “Oh, you just looked like you were thinking about something.”
MAYBE, “Let’s find out,” and the ball is in his court.
By moving the kiss forward in the date you avoid creating an awkward situation that actually makes you no longer attracted to a man. If you have that front door moment, there is just too much pressure. It forces you to recall way too many movies and that’s something you really want to avoid.
So just get it out of the way so you can have a nice date.
For more information please click here
If a man takes you on a date there is a 90% chance he wants to kiss you. He is only waiting and really just paying his taxes until you give him the sign that he has: spent enough money, told enough good stories, spent enough time with you.
What you need to know is that men cannot read your signals.
I know that it’s hard to believe but all of those subtle little signals you are sending out are only understandable to other women. I have stood next to a student while a woman kept leaning in closer and closer to his mouth and he didn’t realize what was happening. She would close her eyes, tilt her head and lean in toward his mouth. He wouldn’t react and she would rock back out. I had to sneak up behind him and tell him that I would punch him in the kidney if he didn’t kiss her.
That might seem extreme but it was the only way that woman was ever going to get kissed.
The worst thing that can happen on a first date is the awkward front door moment. I spend so much time teaching my male students how to avoid it, but it always amazes me how many women will actively create this socially awkward moment.
The earlier you kiss on a date the better.
Please have the courtesy to remove the elephant in the room.
He is only pretending to listen to your story about your sister’s new job. All he’s thinking about is that moment. Is she going to kiss me? Is she not going to kiss me? Am I wasting my time?
If you ever wonder why men don’t remember anything you say on a first date, that’s why. It’s a constant track running through the backs of their minds.
Is there a solution?
Of course there is! I wouldn’t leave you hanging. I am going to teach you a kissing technique that has been passed down from male dating coach to male dating coach for generations. This is the first kissing move I ever tried, and it worked great.
Just say to him, “Do you want to kiss me?”
Now I know that sounds scary, but don’t worry. There is an escape hatch. Besides, don’t you want to know early on if you are with a guy who’s not interested?
There are only three possible answers: yes, no and maybe.
YES – “Then what are you waiting for?” and kiss.
NO – “Oh, you just looked like you were thinking about something.”
MAYBE, “Let’s find out,” and the ball is in his court.
By moving the kiss forward in the date you avoid creating an awkward situation that actually makes you no longer attracted to a man. If you have that front door moment, there is just too much pressure. It forces you to recall way too many movies and that’s something you really want to avoid.
So just get it out of the way so you can have a nice date.
For more information please click here
Have you heard the inspirational quote that goes something like this, “Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking”?
Nugget: Have you heard the inspirational quote that goes something like this, “Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking”? Yeah, well… that wisdom can be applied to relationships as well. You can get a good indication of the character of a potential girlfriend/boyfriend by just observing what they do and how they treat others when it “doesn’t matter.”
What it Means: You can tell a lot about a person’s character by watching how they interact with others. People are able to put on a “front” or a “façade” for a short amount of time (especially on date, etc.), but they will always revert back to their true character. This is a scary thought when it’s applied to relationships. Can you imagine getting engaged to a man who has been a “different person” throughout your entire courtship and suddenly becomes this irate, hot head with no regard for others? Talk about a nightmare…
This type of scenario happens all to often in relationships because people feel that they can revert back to “themselves” when no one is watching (except you) and/or there are no consequences for their misbehavior.
To avoid being fooled by someone’s “front” in a relationship, look at how they interact and treat people when it doesn’t matter. For example, your boyfriend runs into the grocery store and lets you wait in the car. As he gets all the way through the parking lot (and assumes he is out of your site), he passes an elderly lady loading her groceries into her car. She suddenly drops a bag and her oranges roll everywhere. Does he just look at her and keep walking or does he stop to help?
Bottom Line: Walking past a lady that dropped her oranges doesn’t make you a bad person or someone who can’t have a solid relationship. On the other hand, honing in on someone’s actions when no one is looking is a good indicator of their true character.
More information please click here
What it Means: You can tell a lot about a person’s character by watching how they interact with others. People are able to put on a “front” or a “façade” for a short amount of time (especially on date, etc.), but they will always revert back to their true character. This is a scary thought when it’s applied to relationships. Can you imagine getting engaged to a man who has been a “different person” throughout your entire courtship and suddenly becomes this irate, hot head with no regard for others? Talk about a nightmare…
This type of scenario happens all to often in relationships because people feel that they can revert back to “themselves” when no one is watching (except you) and/or there are no consequences for their misbehavior.
To avoid being fooled by someone’s “front” in a relationship, look at how they interact and treat people when it doesn’t matter. For example, your boyfriend runs into the grocery store and lets you wait in the car. As he gets all the way through the parking lot (and assumes he is out of your site), he passes an elderly lady loading her groceries into her car. She suddenly drops a bag and her oranges roll everywhere. Does he just look at her and keep walking or does he stop to help?
Bottom Line: Walking past a lady that dropped her oranges doesn’t make you a bad person or someone who can’t have a solid relationship. On the other hand, honing in on someone’s actions when no one is looking is a good indicator of their true character.
More information please click here
Using an ultimatum to get that sought after wedding ring is like committing relationship suicide.
Using an ultimatum to get that sought after wedding ring is like committing relationship suicide. If you feel the need to present your boyfriend with an ultimatum concerning your relationship, it MUST be authentic!
What it means: When it comes to women who so badly want to be engaged to their boyfriend, ultimatums are a commonplace. The waiting game drives desperation (especially if she has been waiting for more than a year or two to get engaged) and desperation can lead to threats!
Yes, ultimatum is just a fancy word for “threat”. Women who throw marriage ultimatums at their boyfriends obviously don’t realize that this kind of pressure and “all or nothing” attitude commonly results in the demise of the relationship.
When is an ultimatum acceptable? Only when you are ready to deal with the truth and act on the response! If you give your boyfriend a “now or never” lecture, you best be prepared to pack your bags and leave if he comes back with a “never” response. Staying in a relationship after he says “never” will only result in your losing all credibility and leverage in the relationship.
Bottom Line: Only give an ultimatum if you’re ready to hear the truth and are willing to act on it, whatever the response may be.
NOTE: You can link to the GGR video using the angle of “Here’s a much better way to get him to pop the question WITHOUT using threats and dangerous ultimatums.”
Read more
What it means: When it comes to women who so badly want to be engaged to their boyfriend, ultimatums are a commonplace. The waiting game drives desperation (especially if she has been waiting for more than a year or two to get engaged) and desperation can lead to threats!
Yes, ultimatum is just a fancy word for “threat”. Women who throw marriage ultimatums at their boyfriends obviously don’t realize that this kind of pressure and “all or nothing” attitude commonly results in the demise of the relationship.
When is an ultimatum acceptable? Only when you are ready to deal with the truth and act on the response! If you give your boyfriend a “now or never” lecture, you best be prepared to pack your bags and leave if he comes back with a “never” response. Staying in a relationship after he says “never” will only result in your losing all credibility and leverage in the relationship.
Bottom Line: Only give an ultimatum if you’re ready to hear the truth and are willing to act on it, whatever the response may be.
NOTE: You can link to the GGR video using the angle of “Here’s a much better way to get him to pop the question WITHOUT using threats and dangerous ultimatums.”
Read more
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