Relationship Breaking up advice

You have probably heard about implementing No Contact soon after a break up and there are many articles and discussions about it all over the internet. It is one of those strategies that are extremely important but not many are keen to implement. It’s not easy to completely shut yourself off from the person you love. It’s a habit and a drug.

I think the first thing you’ll likely do is to rationalize why No Contact is not for you or why it’s not as important as others say. Let’s look at why No Contact is important and if it’s really beneficial for your situation.
What is No Contact?

In my opinion No Contact = No Contract.

Your relationship started with a contract that bound the two of you together in a mutual agreement to love, cherish, respect one another. When you enter a relationship you do so because of the benefits you’ll receive from the other person. Everyone wants to be loved, to be looked after, to be respected and to have their opinions count. That’s why people get into relationships.

What happens when your partner tells you they don’t want to be with you is a major slap in the face to you and all the effort you have put into the relationship. They’re pretty much saying the contract is up, their lease is over and they’re ready to move out and move on to bigger and greener pastures.

It hurts because your ex has ditched you when you still felt you were under contract for another few years or even indefinitely.

Now in reality you wouldn’t go crying and begging to the bank if they have rejected you or if a business rejects you. That’s not professional and their respect for you will pretty much go through the floor. Same thing will happen with your ex, though they will be a lot more sympathetic and they might even make you feel better through compensation. However this is never long lasting and often another break up will happen around the corner.

Now clearly things are never quite this simple in the real world. Depending on why your relationship ended, going straight into No Contact can be a negative instead of a position. What that means is sometimes you need to use your common sense and decide what you should do for your situation.

If your ex has left you it might be a lack of one or more of the following:

appreciation
affection
desire
passion
acknowledgement
excitement
newness
respect
willingness to share and contribute
growth and expansion

Whatever their reason may be, you need to accept that you might never really know the real reason they’re leaving you. (Often they won’t really know either)
What To Do After Getting Dumped?

I don’t recommend going into No Contact straight away if you still love your ex and want your ex back. Why? Because if you still love your ex and you want to make things right, it doesn’t make sense to not try to get them back. But that’s not really the problem. I would think most people reading this would have tried already to convince their ex to come back; it’s the most natural thing to do especially directly after a break up and when you’re highly emotional.

Now if you were dumped the day before and it was a big shout fest where lots of unpleasant things were said and you woke up this morning feeling like crap and regretting the whole thing. I recommend settling yourself down so you’re not in a state of panic before calling. If your ex refuses to talk to you, whatever you do, DON’T keep calling!

Wait a few more days to try. You should never go on a txt message binge or anything of the kind. Now if you have ALREADY done that, then you should start No Contact right now.
The Truth Behind No Contact

A lot of people think once they have started no contact, that means if they talk or even acknowledge their ex at all from this point on, it means they have failed the entire process. Please don’t be harsh on yourself, if you set a bunch of rules that are unrealistic in nature (eg, like not talking to your ex if you work together) you are only setting yourself up to fail. Be flexible but understand your main intentions for going into No Contact.

Here are the main rules to follow:

Don’t try to do anything purely to provoke a reaction out of your ex.
Don’t initiate conversations that could lead to a ‘friendly’ relationship with your ex.
Don’t call your ex to talk about anything other than when there’s a major emergency.

Another easy way to remember how to act is to think of your ex as a distant acquaintance you have neutral feelings for. You wouldn’t call or go out of your way to talk to someone you barely know and that’s how you should treat your ex during the No Contact phrase.
How Long Should No Contact Last?

If you’re going to use this rule to the extreme (not always recommended)

You typically use No Contact until one of two things happen:

a) your ex hints at wanting you back or

b) you don’t want your ex back anymore.

It’s not difficult in theory but people aren’t robots and we often misread signs or get too excited too quickly. Now the important thing to remember is if you do happen to make a mistake and it sets you further back, don’t panic! It’s not the end of the world and mistakes will undoubtedly happen! Simply go back into No Contact and continue on knowing you have learnt a lesson from your mistake.

Now what will happen is that your ex will contact you and suggest to get together (or you might even suggest to get together). Go out and have some fun but in the back of your mind you should be thinking where this ‘date’ should be leading. If it’s not progressing towards reconciliation then you go back on No Contact and be honest with your ex about it.

Simple in theory but hard to implement in the real world (like most things).
Surviving No Contact

I won’t lie, it’s hard like a druggie trying to come clean. But it WILL get easier. The more you distance yourself and the less you communicate, the faster the healing will be. Clearly if you go complete cold turkey, you’ll make faster progress than someone who sees their ex everyday and has to make small talk out of politeness. If you want to get through it quick, consider taking a long holiday somewhere.

What I mean by getting through it quick is getting to the point where it isn’t so painful going through the day without talking to your ex anymore. You want to get to that stage where a few days might go by without having thought of your ex at all. That’s the best position to be in because to survive the break up, you need patience and you can’t get it if you’re staring at the problem every second of the day.

Want a secret formula to surviving no contact? Or how about how to STOP no contact all together?

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve

How to Get a Woman to Treat You the Way You Deserve
By John Alexander
Author, How to Become an Alpha Male

You know the scenario. You start dating a woman. After the first date, all you get is a peck on the cheek.

Second date, you get a mouth kiss. Third date, you hold hands. It's a very slow process.

You can't understand why it has to take so long to have sex with the woman. After all, you're buying her meals. You even splurged on some pretty flowers.

In short... you're being incredibly nice to the woman. So what's the problem? Why won't she have sex with you?

It comes down to human motivation. People behave in ways that cause them to get rewarded. They avoid behaviors that cause them punishment.

So the reason why guys often have trouble getting laid is because they reward bad behavior. A chick will lead them on and then make it clear there won't be sex that night, yet the guy rewards her by cuddling with her.



A better solution would be to punish the bad behavior by being a lot less interested in cuddling with her. Never underestimate the power of getting up from the couch and walking out the door.

Remember, to harvest the full enjoyment out of life and to have women be attracted to you, you need to be an alpha male. That means being powerful. So make sure you get treated the way you deserve to be.

Did a chick do something (like have sex with you) that deserves rewarding? Then go ahead and do something nice for her. Take her on a date to a fancy restaurant. Buy her filet mignon and Don Perignon (if you've got the money).

Does a chick just string you along, telling you nice things that she would do for you if only she didn't have a boyfriend? Then withdraw your attention, and go talk to other girls instead of her.

Frame all of your behavior towards women in terms of punishment and reward, and you'll be treated the way you deserve (or else you'll move onto another woman who WILL treat you right).

John Alexander is author of How to Become an Alpha Male... a seduction success guide for men. Learn more advanced tips on how to develop the mind set of an alpha male to find the success with women that you desire.

What Men Desperately Want You To Know (But Will Never Tell You)

What Men Desperately Want You To Know (But Will Never Tell You)

The first conversation can make or break the future of the potential relationship.

The first conversation can make or break the future of the potential relationship. In other words, the goal of the “first” conversation should be to make it stimulating enough for the other person to want a “second” conversation – and this doesn’t happen by gathering “statistics” about the person.
What it means: Many women who find themselves on the search for “the one” strike up casual conversations with potential suitors and only ask “interview style” questions.
“What do you do?”
“How long have you worked there?”
“Where are you from?”
“What brings you here?”
While these types of questions are okay to ask, they fail to make the conversation stimulating and memorable for both parties.
The key to getting a guy to want that “second” conversation with you is digging deeper! No, this doesn’t mean that you have to carry your gardening trowel in purse when you go out. “Digging deeper” simply means that you need to use the first conversation to ask about his passions and interests. Believe me, you’ll get a far better picture of a man by asking about his interests, as opposed to his job history!

If you want the “first” conversation to result in a “second” conversation, make the first one memorable by digging deeper and finding out more about the guy than what’s listed on his resume.

More information please click HERE

i want to get married this year

If men are not approaching you, there might be something that's making you “unapproachable”. Men are always approaching women, but there are certain situations that will stop them in their tracks: a group of women, a woman who is sitting down, a “mean” facial expression, etc. Are you preventing men from approaching you?

Men work in mysterious ways and the thing that they strive to protect most in life is their “ego”. Yes, no man likes a shattered ego. Because of this, men typically approach women that look “safe” – rather than going up to someone that is likely to embarrass or reject them.
For example, most men refrain from approaching a woman that is surrounded by a group of friends. Going up to a group of women is intimidating and requires the man to impress all the ladies, rather than just one. This drives the odds of actually striking up a conversation with the lady he has his eye on through the floor.

Bottom Line: If you want men to approach you more frequently, learn how men view certain situations and position yourself in a more approachable manner.

For more information please
CLICK HERE

Top 10 Ways to Fail to Get Your Ex Back

Why does some relationships fail despite how hard one couple might try?

You might be aware why your relationship didn’t pan out so well; it might be an argument, an affair, a misunderstanding or a lack of trust and appreciation.

You might be worried you’ll make more mistakes so you might not take action at all.

Here are the Top 10 things that might be stopping you from get your ex back.
10. Are you taking it seriously?

If you want your lover back, you need to be committed. You need a plan you can follow seriously. If you doubt yourself, if you think you can win them back by doing what you’ve always done, you might not see the results you want.
9. Not willing to change.

If you’re completely honest with yourself, are you willing to do change to get your ex back? Are you willing to risk and sacrifice anything for them?
8. Inner conflicts.

Perhaps the reason for the collapse of the relationship is rooted deep within yourself. If you are having emotional issues with yourself, such as dependancy or insecurity, then maybe your energy should be redirected to fixing and mending your self-love first.
7. Not paying attention or understanding what they want.

Redirect your attention away from how much pain you are feeling right now. Instead consider it from your ex-lover’s point of view. Have you hurt them just as much? How can you help them?
6. Are you taking action?

Simply saying you’ll change and things will be better does not equal being so. To show your ex you really are going to change, you need to start putting that change into action. Showing your ex how committed you are means more to them than any words you could say.
5. Are you confident?

People are attracted to those that are strong and confident. For men, if your girlfriend has left you don’t simply shower them with attention, gifts and whatever else (unless that was the reason you broke up). Identity the root of the problem and go from there. If you apologize blindly without dealing with the core issues, your ex will see through your blatant persuasions and won’t fall for it.
4. Panic.

Panicing at this stage will only do you a great deal of unnecessary damage. This means drunk dialing, smsing one after another, stalking, talking to their friends/family to try to get them to talk to you. ALL TO BE AVOIDED.
3. Misbeliefs about gaining their trust and love back.

You can never EXPECT them to come back. Thinking that way will be evident in your actions and this will only repell them. Be genuine and loving to them but never expect to get the same in return.
2. Too proud.

You need to realize what is most important. Winning the battle or winning back love and rebuilding a meaningful relationship. Swallow your pride and don’t let a good thing go just because of your ego.
1. Self-abuse.

It is much too common for people to drown in their sollows with alcohol, drugs or anything of that nature. This is NOT the time to start being self-destructive. You need to be in the BEST shape you can be right now. Meaning eating healthy, exercising, getting out of the house. Substance abuse is not only bad for your body, it will make you feel WORSE not better in the longrun.

Want the complete proven system to get your ex back? Even if you’ve made all the mistakes and feel your situation is hopeless.



The Ex Recovery System - Get Your Ex Back in 30 Days or Less

7 Ways to Make Your Ex Fall in Love With You

You might not realize it but you have major advantage over anyone else when it comes to making your ex fall back in love with you. Think about it, you had their heart once and that love for you never dies if it was true. No matter how long it has been, how often you talk, you’ll always have a place in their hearts whether they admit it or not.

But you want to know how to re-ignite those flames and have them burn with passion again.

So here it is: 7 ways to making your ex fall back in love with you.
Become free

If you’re in love with your ex and this is something your ex is aware of, it’s harder to make your ex fall in love because they know you’ll always be there waiting. People only want something they can’t have so by making yourself available to them they will not be as inclined to ‘want’ you in that way.
Make yourself scarce

Don’t allow yourself to be readily available to your ex. You have your own life that is separate from them now. Don’t wait around hoping your ex will contact you. Go out and do things that you enjoy. You’ll be amazed how fast things will start to happen once you’re not ‘waiting’ around for it.
Take care of yourself

Get yourself to feel good again. Do whatever that works for you to get you energized and pumped to face the day everyday. This could be going for a run in the morning, getting a new hair cut, learning some yoga or going camping. It’s amazing but when we feel down, the quickest way to cheer ourselves up is by moving around. So get those juices flowing. When you’re pumped and enjoying life, you pull people towards you.
Become grateful

It’s completely amazing what will happen and how you’ll feel once you are grateful for everything in your life. It’s weird but by simply feeling grateful, everyone around you sense that you ‘have’ something they don’t have. Like I said, people are desperate for things they don’t have. When you appear to HAVE everything, everyone will want what YOU have! It’s weird. You’ll glow inside and out and your ex will be driving themselves crazy thinking about what has changed!
Let go of the past

We tend to want to dwell on past issues. You’ll especially be driving yourself crazy thinking about what went wrong with your relationship and how you want things to be different. I want you to know in order to make your ex fall in love, you need let go of those negative feelings and thoughts. Not only will you make them want you, you’ll feel a huge weight lifted from you and that will show through when they see you.
Embracing change

Let’s admit it, no one is perfect, but what is worse is if we accepted that was the way things were and never welcomed and allowed change. Thing is, change is the only sure thing in the world. If we’re going to change, why not embrace it and try to change for the better. When we set goals for ourselves and take steps to achieve our goals, we’re not only building our self-confidence but you’re letting your ex know that you’re working on your flaws. Action speaks ten fold compared to words, and its actions that will make your ex fall crazy in love with you.
Lastly and most importantly, give love to yourself first

We have all heard the saying ‘you need to love yourself first before you can ever love anyone else’. Once you gain that unconditional love for yourself, you’ll no longer rely on others to validate your sense of worth.

For example if your ex made a comment that might potentially hurt you, you won’t allow it to bother you anymore because no one else’s opinion can mean more to you than your own.

When love is readily available inside you, you won’t seek to others for that love. When you stop needing love from your ex, it is then when your ex will give their love to you.

Want to know the SPECIFIC steps to getting your lover back?

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The Ex Recovery System - Get Your Ex Back in 30 Days or Less